Hello Everyone! It’s been a while since my last update. As I sit here in my hotel room in Bentonville, AR, I’m reflecting on the last two days and how much I am truly blessed. I just finished editing three videos shot today, that may be used for the Walmart brand pages or internally with 4600+ stores. The journey to today has not been smooth.
On Thursday October 10, I posted the following news on my facebook page.
“Today I had a doctors visit and found out what I suspected for some time now. I was given a preliminary diagnosis of Adult ADD. This was not a shocker, to most that know me, but I finally feel some sense of relief knowing the cause of so much pain.
For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with maintaining focus, concentrating on simple and complex tasks, staying engaged in conversations, remembering to follow up on assigned or self given tasks, and staying focused in one spot for a long period of time. This has caused me a lot of grief at work and home. It’s caused me good yearly evaluations, promotions, and cause headaches to those around me.
It’s caused me to be chewed out by superiors, affected my self esteem, and worse my mental state. Failing at these simple things can lead others to suspect you’re not motivated or care about your job or personal affairs. This simply isn’t the case for me. I’m passionate about my job, my life, and my family. I know those closest to me know this is true.
“Today I had a doctors visit and found out what I suspected for some time now. I was given a preliminary diagnosis of Adult ADD”
I know this isn’t the end of the world and some may look at this as frivolous, but not to me. I’m finally able to know what’s wrong with me and can get the assistance I need to get me lined out for the better. I’ve prayed hard and frequent for God to help me with this, and I know this is His answer. With the support of my wife, family, friends, and peers, I know that I’ll always have someone to talk to and help me. I’m looking forward to bringing myself at 100% soon and I hope the naysayers are ready to be disappointed.”
This was no surprise to me, I had a feeling that my struggles were outside of my control, but I wasn’t able to explain it. Then, four days later, I found out the job I was so ready for, wasn’t within my reach.
“Today has started off rough. I feel broken and defeated. I received a call about a position in which I was interviewed. I didn’t get the job. The most crushing feeling in the world. I’m fighting the sadness my heart feels while writing this message.
I’m not mad. The interviewer was amazing and know he is making the best decision for his team and the company by moving forward with two other candidates. I know in my mind and heart that they must be amazing associates to be moving forward and will be a great asset for teaching our future leaders.
I reached out to a close friend and told him that I was not selected. Wondering was it me. Have I done something wrong. Here’s what he said. “I know it doesn’t help right now but I can tell you I’m 100% confident it’s because God has a better plan for you on its way. We don’t know what’s coming next or where there may be an opportunity to do something bigger than we imagined. God works all things to the good of those who love him & are called for his purpose. Nothing can stop God from accomplishing his plan for you- no manager, no job interview, no job period. If it’s not a no, it’s a “not yet, wait for something bigger.””
Sometimes God chooses to keep a door closed so that our feet stay on the right path. We have to remember that there are others that are on a journey too. Those who are destined for other futures, some even greater than yourself. I could’ve been that hindrance in that persons journey. I know there are still great things to come.
I’m proud to work for a company that gives second chances, has a team dedicated to supporting you and your dreams, and even coaching you towards your next step of success. I’m thankful for being interviewed, being recognized for my contributions. I’m so thankful for the experiences I’ve had and will have that I never would’ve thought possible a year ago.
To my associates, peers, and leadership teams, thank you for always supporting me. Thank you for allowing me to be able to have the moments and making sure those moments continue. You’ve made an impact on this guy from a small town in Northeast Arkansas. I can’t wait to see what the journey continues to hold.”
Every time one of these blows came my way, I had to remember my faith. Remember that I’ve already won the war through Christ. It’s hard, even now thinking about the rough last few weeks I’ve had to bear. Yet, my mindset changed in this experience. I was reminded that despite the things Satan was choosing to throw in my path, I could choose to simply walk around them. Take today for example. I’m doing something that many in our company DREAM of doing. In the face of these obstacles I allowed myself to be blinded to the amazing things being done for me. I mean, who knew that a small farm town kid, with a high school education could make it this far.
“Every time one of these blows came my way, I had to remember my faith. Remember that I’ve already won the war through Christ.”
I am reminded of how because of God’s plan I was able to go to Walmart Shareholders 2019, Chicago for the launch of Walmart Pickup Point – Lincolnwood, and today for this amazing project. Things that God would NOT have allowed me to do if it didn’t fall within his plan. He’s surrounded me with a loving wife, family, friends, and colleagues that all care about me and my journey. I continue to pray that one day, I can land my dream of working permanently at the Home Office and promoting the good our associates do every day in our stores and communities.
Tomorrow I head back home and rest after these two busy days and a four and a half hour drive that awaits. I hope that in this blog you can find some peace, like I have. I want to thank Zach Lones for bringing me out again to help prove that we can invest in our associates and invest in their talents. I want to thank Lindsey Parke for being an inspiring voice and peer these last two days, I continue to wish you and your husband all the best. I pray that you who are reading this, when you are feeling down you will reach out for help, and talk to someone. I pray that you never give up on what your spirit is telling you to do. Most of all, know that God loves you, and so do I.